Race Review: Capitol Hill 10K

I've never done a race recap before, and this one isn't really going to be so much about the race itself as is typical, so... 

Forewarning. 

Also, be forewarned that this isn't really a happy post. Oh how I wish it were, but it's not. Much of it was composed in my head during the race, and for those who know how messy the inside of my head can get...well, you can guess how these words are going to tumble onto this page. 

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So, Kyle and I signed up for the Capitol Hill Classic 10K probably two months back, pre-boot. We both thought this race would be no big deal. We'd add some distance to the usual #mallmornings routine and get in a good 6.2 before the heat really kicks in...

Au contraire. 

Da boot came into our lives one Monday morning. Luckily, it also went away, 6 weeks later (albeit not without significant annoyance, but that's her story to tell, not mine). 

During the boot saga, though, I've also been experiencing a saga of my own...one that hasn't yet peaked nor gone by the wayside. It's not a new story, but the thinking about it is. The way I get in my head, this should come as no surprise, but there's stuff going on in there that's about as annoying as da boot. 

I should start by telling a little backstory, though:

• I started running by completing a C25K, which will be three years ago this summer. 
• For the first two years, I had ZERO desire to run more than 3 miles at a time. 
• During the fall of 2011 and spring of 2012, I gradually increased my distance, mostly out of boredom and curiosity. I wanted to see whether I could.
• On September 22, 2012, I ran my first half-marathon. 

The timing of all this was perfect for me. I felt incredible, and even though I haven't raced a lot since the half (just a handful of races this spring, mostly for financial reasons), I've been happy with my training. 

As it turns out, all was not right with my training. Some of the things I had chalked up as workout-induced aches and pains = not normal.

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I'm not particularly enthused about re-hashing the details of this weekend's race. 

I was recovering from a cold, but more than that, I spent a lot of time thinking during this race, which is generally a bad, bad thing. I thought about when I started running and how good it made me feel. I thought about how once I finally cranked up the distance and found a new challenge, I was so very excited. And then I thought about today's race.

I just didn't want to be there. And...it hurt, in more ways than one.

Despite the misty rain (which I generally love) and the water that came out my nose (super attractive, I know), I just found zero humor in the situation. It wasn't fun anymore. 

The rest of the race was mostly me battling myself not to quit. I thought of Heather's DNF post, though, and didn't. There were some awesome high-fivers ahead, and I gave myself the runner thumbs-up. I thought of Boston. And then I thought about the fact that three years ago, I couldn't have done this. 

But I still felt...

"Pretty much my body has been feeling like it's falling apart, and I've been upset and frustrated constantly about it." --Juli

Eventually, over an hour after I crossed the starting line, I crossed the finish. I didn't feel well, and I still don't feel good about this race, but it's done. I crossed both lines.

Hopefully soon, I'll cross more lines and climb some barriers, too. Because I want to keep doing this and make it something I love again. 

<3 KSM

Right now.

It's no secret that I don't write as much when things are good.

I write to deal with the unfortunate parts of life, but I'm a little less vocal when all is well. Writing it all out...it's a nice way to complain. Know what, though? Nobody likes somebody who complains all the time.

Right now, though, life is great.

Right now, I am OBSESSED with the game 'dots.'

Right now, work is just a little bit insane.

Right now, as I sit in bed after waking up from a Saturday afternoon nap, I'm feeling just...blessed.

Right now it's raining, and I kinda want to go for a run, but more than that, I want to be grateful that I can run. Because in an hour or on Monday or 10 years from now, I might not be able to run. But today... Today I can run.

Right now, I appreciate all the amazing people I've been blessed to spend the last few weeks with.

I appreciate you all for your love and encouragement, for celebrating with me, and for letting me cry on your shoulder.

These past few weeks have been a flurry of highs and lows. I dodged a bullet last week, and there will always be new things to contend with, but right now, very few of you know that in addition to the bad things going on, I have big, GIGANTIC news. GIGANTIC GOOD NEWS IS COMING.

That can wait, though.

Because right now, I hear the rain pounding on the highway outside, and I can't help but to linger in the moments.

The moment of proudly watching my friends switch their mortarboard tassels this morning.

The moment your breath catches in your throat at the subject line of an unexpected e-mail.

And a markedly similar moment of waking up to the sound of rain in the middle of the night and just being happy.

These are the moments. They're the ones that matter. They're right now.

<3 KSM